Tuesday, September 22, 2009

solo

I have never lived alone off of a college campus until a few weeks ago.

I'm nearly 29.

When I did live alone, it was a mess.

I got so bored I would do the dishes from dinner and wash the clothes I just wore.

Every night.

I watched a lot of TV.

I swore I would never live alone again.

I moved out into the world and I didn't till now.

I figured it was time for me to focus on what I have to do so I opted for my own space.

Its been about a month and I am done. I am a Holmes, we aren't solo people.

I was raised in a crowd, with plenty of people to take care of who took care back. Taking care of myself is no fun.

One night in the dark on the golf course of Fisher, Jason asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I said.

"The person who puts the blanket on someone when they are sleeping, so they never wake up cold."

I wish I could remember what Jason said.

It was a pretty honest bit out of me.

I am not, nor will I ever be, a loner.

I'm not perfect and I need people. I need to feel like there is some sort of family in the house I live in.

Alone will never feel like home to me. My home was never empty.

I can travel alone, and I am at peace by myself.

But I am not living the way I want to.

Some souls just don't solo.




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