Thursday, December 10, 2009

for Cohen

I have been incredibly fortunate to have an opportunity at an education. In this world that is a major privilege, I'm aware of it, and I am incredibly thankful for it.

Most of all I am in debt to some of the most amazing teachers to ever stand in front of a class. At this very moment I am trying to deeply understand the laws of Torts for one such amazing woman.

Professor Cohen is a determined and passionate woman. Her toughness is a complement. She expects the best and the fact that she expects it makes me feel capable of it, that's a hell of a feeling. She pushes the class and never misses a beat. I respect her immensely. As overwhelmed as I am right now in the pursuit of not letting her down, I want to list a few of those teachers who I have adored.

It takes every drop of energy a person has to teach, I am in awe of the dedication. It has truly pushed me to many ends of effort. Thank you to those gifted souls who throughout my life did their best to save me from my own ignorance. Someday, I hope to make them proud. Education is dedication, at least that's what my father always said...

People who had no reason to care about me but did:

Mrs. Flynn (its ok to scream, let it out)
Miss Cavallaro (write what you are thinking everyday)
Miss Migon (science is cool, I should spend the rest of my life studying it)
Sr. Carla (Cuniform to long division, practice makes perfect)
Sr. Elish (patience is the only way to understand math)
Sr. Ann Kenyon (you're right, math matters)
Hermana Anna (gracias siempre)
SR. MARGARET PATRICK FAYE (yeah I love her, biology is what it is to me bc of her)
Mr. P (my coach forever)
Mrs. P*** (showed me Paris, merci Madamme P)
Rogers (No excuses)
Stobnicke (read it till it moves you)
FATHER DAN MUSCALINO (what is, is and cannot not be, agricola in agro est)
St. JoAnn (yeah, I think med school or law school for you, decide)
Dr. Westbay (Seminar, Seminar, Seminar)
Dr. Hurd (diffuse naiveté, its clear to me what you are capable of)
Dr. Hieu (if I met a year earlier I would have been a physics major)
Dr. Crombach (the chambered nautilus IS beautiful and Darwin IS amazing)
Father Graf (loss is a feeling defining love)
Dr. Seward (focus on science Mary, leave comm)
Dr. Massoud Miri (making organic chemistry make sense since the polymer uprising)
Dr. Juidiana Lawrence (don't just read it, analyze it)
Dr. Ball (I'll meet you at the Union for a beer, we'll talk careers)
Dr. Householder (get in the lab and stay there)
Dr. Sia (its just DNA manipulation, no big deal)
Dr. Tsubota (I can't believe what he could make me understand Dr. Epiphany is more like it)
Dr. Cooke (I stay current in science because of the joy she brought to it)
Dr. Margot Ip (a life devoted to curing cancer is a life well spent)
Prof. Bev Cohen and Prof. Dale Moore, I swear I won't let you down.

Sunday, December 6, 2009


we were like indian summer
not meant to be
just happened
mother nature's privileged art
out of season
precious mistakes
that make life unexpected
that pushes the living
and we grew
the ever present cleavage of division
being unnatural as we were
I was thrown back to summer
and you locked in your fall
branched from a common past
spinning to disorder
abscission in the painful sense
in the end, it will have been brief
and then it seemed eternal
silly children with no concept of time
and faith in promises

Friday, December 4, 2009


such a crazy cat
lost track when counting her lives
now its all a guess

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

hail helios

Dionysus met Apollo
In the distance the music poured out of the clubs of town. The streets were full of beautiful people and the stores still open for business. Each restaurant I passed still relentlessly presented waiters and menus queuing me to take a seat under an umbrella. Four in the afternoon and four in the morning had little difference in paradise.

Aphrodite sighed, Hera frowned
I was totally lost. I had given up trying to climb through the streets on the famous coast of Mykonos. I surrendered to the sand sure I had lost Jules for good. I had wandered cobble stone at a quick stumble for over an hour chanting her name into every corner I could. Failed at collecting my wits from quitting tears.

Helios to follow Artemis
I was sitting in the sand twenty feet or so from this cute French couple Marcel and Nicole. The sun was making amends with the moon and threatened an entrance. Salt in the air and that wet smell from the life of the sea was hard to distinguish over my bouquet of ethanol.

I stared at the sea and walked into it. From where I sit now its hard to imagine something so warm. Clothing was a civil gesture of polite behavior and certainly not necessity. I swayed like the water not of my own volition. I waited for for dawn to light my way back to the pension.

I finally left the refuge of the beach and climbed the high sloping road to the hotels along the ridge. I was only a foot soldier in an army of the masses. High heels and short skirts, yesterdays's cologne, glistening faces and long passed peak make-up. We were all climbing home together for better or worse. A mass of youth slowly creeping to their morning graves to sleep off the long hours of intensity in the face of sure pain.

I had no idea where to find Jules, and to my relief there she was outside of our room half asleep in a chair. I have never been so glad to be in so much trouble. I wandered first. I left the dance floor first and by the time I returned she was off looking for me. From that point on we crossed paths and never found each other... Jules was livid, thank god. I couldn't tell her what was running through my head. The calls I was about to make to find her. I had nearly taken a cab to port to make sure she wasn't on some ship. I was ready to steal a bike and find her.

Helios to Hestia
A day in the sun left her full of forgiveness and the stories we shared only added to the pure unreality of our experience. I spent the night on a beach in Mykonos waiting for the sun to get me home.


somewhere Pearl St. and Lark I went below
not that I wasn't still running
not that I wasn't still watching traffic
not that I wasn't still listening
somewhere along the way I fell under
cause I can't find myself in my head
cause I can't remember what nothing is
cause I can't shake it or stop
somewhere on the road I slipped down
I'm in no shape for sleep
I'm in no place for peace
I'm in no way the same
somewhere in the cold I started to melt
loosing fear along the mile markers
loosing breath amid the climb
loosing time wasted in worry
somewhere out there I find space
catching up to myself in the shuffle
catching up to these things I chase
catching up to the girl in mirror
I like to stay submerged in it for hours
and it keeps the demons at bay
till I can't hear myself again
then I'm off trying to find the hidden door