Tuesday, April 10, 2012

the cost of this is time

In the weeks before I started law school I was sailing around the coast of Turkey and cut my hair to less that an inch long. In the last two and a half years, my hair has now reached past my shoulders and life has moved so far, so fast.

I have never, ever, done anything the easy way. I'm feeling the exhaustion of that at the moment, but my 31 years have taught me this too shall pass.

Its true that not long after I left DC for NY I was desperate to get back. It has made completing my degree a logistical nightmare, but I feel the content is pretty incredible.

In undergrad I insisted on studying abroad, and as a science major, this meant having a schedule quagmire that took testing out of four classes to graduate on time.

Law school has been a more interesting ballet. I am certain that I am the only student in my graduating class that has attended four law schools. Albany, American, GMU and Georgetown.

I thought, for the sake of my own sanity, I would make a list of everything I have done in the last couple years to get me through the last stretch.


I have traveled to over 20 countries while in law school including China, Peru, Guatemala, South Africa, Senegal, and Turkey - I even lived for a summer in Holland.

I have run two Marathons.

I have jumped off cliffs into the ocean, sat on a surf board in the dark sea under a full moon, sipped wine on an African Safari, hiked the Great Wall and rode a horse around Mayan ruins.

For the last year I have worked full-time while maintaining just enough credits to not violate the ABA rules. This was the big deal. When I showed up to work at the Patent Office last January I knew I could never go back to class full time and call that career preparation, I needed to work now and not hope for a job later.

I have moved TEN times. Eight of these moves were across state/country lines.

Thanks to the constant moving I have had to sacrifice truckloads of things. I have handled that as best I can. I am happy to say I have been living in my own little apartment for nine months and have no plans of leaving anytime soon. I recently ran out of dental floss, for some reason that makes me feel somewhat settled. Its been a long time since I lived anywhere long enough to run out of dental floss.

I have sat in courts from The Hague, Shanghai and DC. All around the world, a court room is about the same.

I will graduate in a month and I am employed in a job I truly enjoy.

While I understand that law school is expensive and a risk that can be a poor choice for some, for me it has actually been something I am absolutely sure I needed.

As I spend each night and train ride listening to Bar Exam lectures It occurs to me that so much of what I am memorizing is practical and provides me with sounder footing the rest of my walk in life. That is priceless.

Everything I have done over the last thirty months must come into focus over the next four.

I did this for myself. Everyone needs a renaissance. I may have done so to the beat of my own drum but it brought me to a steady rhythm.

I feel like I can stand perfectly straight and walk calmly and happily alone, with deep appreciation, high expectations and reasonable certainty that even the unknown will be remarkable from the proper perspective.

Finally accomplishing something written as my bio in my sixth grade year book, this degree moors me to me.

I am sufficient unto me.

There have been hard times of crushing pain in years part, that I never imagined I could feel this way, yet I do.

And that is the memory, that there will be lows again and that fortune is a tide and happiness is a choice. It will be hard to convince me otherwise ever again. I have earned this truth.

It amazes me how short life is and that what is dear takes precious time.

Thank you, for your precious time.