selfish

A couple days ago, as I wrote, I was not feeling super. There was no reason for that. I just received a few bits of information from my father that put my selfish little life in perspective. There simply isn't anytime for ridiculous self pity when people I care about with every bit of my heart are in pain. There isn't anything I can do. I just love them, even from a distance.

My cousin and his beautiful wife are trying to have a baby. For the last nineteen glorious weeks they were on their way. She miscarried, still birth, a beautiful inanimate child. She held it, she saw it, my Aunt and Uncle sat with the baby in their arms. The child will rest at St. Mary's with our family. The world is not fair. I love my family, I want nothing but happiness and love for every single part of it. I know what kind of parents they would have been. The world just lost something truly beautiful. All I have is tears.

My Father sounded the same on the phone. His voice just cracking as it does now with emotion. He was on his way up to the hospital to see his best friend. Mr. Bernie Kraft has always been a character in my life like a bionic man. The man who had heart surgery before my father and put his arm around me while Dad had his quintuple bypass. Bernie and my father would play poker with pennies under a cloud of smoke at Cherry Rd. They spent hours and hours together on the golf course and I spent hours in Bernie's pool. My Dad is saying good-bye to Bernie. He just told me he is loosing his closest friend. All I want to do right now is hug my Dad, he may not need it but I really do.