Red Rope Licorice

Nothing is more of a comfort to me than Twizzlers, at least foodwise. The smell alone relaxes me. I am a simple human. A bag of Twizzlers and a huge fountain Diet Pepsi, I can endure anything with those drugs.

Anything, and have.

From May to September 2008 the only thing I could stomach was Twizzlers and Diet Pepsi. I never got sick of them and it was all I could eat regularly. I once created a camp on my bed with a 3600 page epic fantasy novel series, Twizzlers and a fridge full of cans of DP. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you survive depression.

The soda, pop, whatever has to be diet... preferably fountain. I can handle brands other than DP as long as its fountain. However a can of diet coke is not going to cut it. If its not fountain it needs to be Pepsico.

The licorice needs to be red... I tend to prefer Twizzlers, but I have a love for the shoestring stuff too.

If I have a long car trip, I need fountain diet soda and licorice more than the car needs gas. Last summer my DP dependency was so bad the following situations happened:

1. Without asking Jason would get me a new can of DP every time he went into the kitchen.

2. My nephew and his friend were playing in the garage by the "beverage" fridge. His friend goes for one of the DP cans and my four year old nephew says "You can't have that my Aunt Mary needs it to live."

3. I was home alone and half alive. I went to go get a soda from the fridge. It was the last DP. So I opened it, grabbed a suitcase, packed ten t-shirts and moved out. By the time the can was gone I was on the highway from Rochester to Washington DC, cause Jason and LeAnn told me they had a fridge full of DP in Alexandria, VA. I wish this wasn't as true as it is.

Maybe the Twizzlers form a compound in my blood that stitches my heart back together. Maybe the acid in DP is enough to kill the pain and calm my fiercest anxiety. Whatever, its my brand of heroine. Not that I haven't had to cut this dynamic duo with more powerfully prescribed chemistry, I have.

You do what you have to in order to survive even when you aren't sure you want to.