I am awake, the only one awake. There are twelve of us cuddled under the masts on the scooner's deck somewhere near Gocek, Turkey in a bay.
I am staring at the stars and I am thinking of him again, he seemed to value the sky. He might know what I was lost in awe of... I could only make out Venus.
I've said before the night sky when clear was like a foreign language to me, and one I want to learn. I am certain once you speak it, it all makes sense and the mess turns to clarity... Right now for me its a blanket of stars in a beautiful mess.
I look around in the moonlight amazed at the water, the sea, the fact that I have seen multiple shooting stars. Although I am surrounded by good people, they aren't my people. I am only borrowing them for the experience. I wish I had my people here, maybe even someone who could teach me about the sky.
So I am counting. Lost at sea, in a sense, on vacation not truly sure of the date I am making out that its the 1st of August and that on this day I should be over him. When I had a margarita in my hand in early April one of the fine women I live with told me I would be over him in half the time I spent with him. And I was, come July I was fine... three months, we had six.
So I am rocking to sleep in the boat, and I am wondering if when I wake up I'll be over this him... We had thirtyfour days and it had been seventeen exactly since the last. Lets not mention I will be in my thirties till I am over the other. What is over? Forget? Stop wondering what if? Whatever... too good to be true always is, and I will never get five minutes in his head.
In the mean time I can find Venus on a sailboat in paradise, I will have to teach myself the rest sometime.
This week in books 7/14/17
2 months ago